Robot Babysitter

Feb 06

bankruptcy judge determines whether a student loan can be considered in a broader bankruptcy claim. To clear the legal hurdle, debtors must not only demonstrate that they are currently unable to pay— they must also demonstrate that their future life prospects are characterized by a “certainty of hopelessness.”

Being deemed legally without hope sounds like a George Saunders story.

Jan 28

UNESCO Fast Food Heritage Sites -

Following up on my stated interest in fast food restaurants near UNESCO World Heritage sites: I’ve started documenting them.

Jan 27

I would be interested in a book of UNESCO World Heritage Sites viewed from inside fast food restaurants.

I would be interested in a book of UNESCO World Heritage Sites viewed from inside fast food restaurants.

Jan 24

Jan 03

Calhoun’s utopia experiments




After day 600 the social breakdown continued and the population declined toward extinction. During this period females ceased to reproduce. Their male counterparts withdrew completely, never engaging in courtship or fighting. They ate, drank, slept, and groomed themselves – all solitary pursuits. Sleek, healthy coats and an absence of scars characterized these males. They were dubbed “the beautiful ones”.




Mice, not humans, but the end result seems similar to Italy’s mamoni/bamboccioni, Japan’s sōshoku danshi or parasaito shinguru, and a bunch of other examples of ‘boomerang’ generation situations.
I know I haven’t felt the urge to fight or get married in quite a long time, and my hair is as thick and lustrous as it has ever been.

Calhoun’s utopia experiments

After day 600 the social breakdown continued and the population declined toward extinction. During this period females ceased to reproduce. Their male counterparts withdrew completely, never engaging in courtship or fighting. They ate, drank, slept, and groomed themselves – all solitary pursuits. Sleek, healthy coats and an absence of scars characterized these males. They were dubbed “the beautiful ones”.

Mice, not humans, but the end result seems similar to Italy’s mamoni/bamboccioni, Japan’s sōshoku danshi or parasaito shinguru, and a bunch of other examples of ‘boomerang’ generation situations.

I know I haven’t felt the urge to fight or get married in quite a long time, and my hair is as thick and lustrous as it has ever been.

Dec 28

Now I really want to change my emergency contact information.

Now I really want to change my emergency contact information.

Dec 25

Christmas 2012

What if we did trick or treating on Christmas?

It seems like an idea with some promise. People typically have decent stuff on the table at Christmas, but the only way to get at it is to sit through a few hours of conversation about personal medical problems and whatever talking points were falling out of Lindsay Graham’s mouth on the Sunday morning shows.

It seems like almost everyone is going to have something in their house to put in the pillowcase - a slice of pie, a scoop of mashed potatoes, some crumbly cookies - and they will feel obligated to give you something because it is Christmas.

If someone starts objecting, maybe tell them that it’s lunar Halloween or something.

Dec 21

Dec 17

Pitiful.

Dec 09

Your search - “audiobooks narrated by andre 3000” - did not match any documents.

Dec 05

This is my copy of the 1992 Simpsons Illustrated Annual. It has sat in my dresser drawer for 20 years. It’s the only magazine I have kept.
Today, I found someone on eBay who wants $25 for a copy of it, which made today the best day of 2012.

This is my copy of the 1992 Simpsons Illustrated Annual. It has sat in my dresser drawer for 20 years. It’s the only magazine I have kept.

Today, I found someone on eBay who wants $25 for a copy of it, which made today the best day of 2012.

2012 Gift Guide

Did you wind up getting a useless graduate degree and now your crippling student debt means you can’t afford presents? Give coupons that entitle the receiver to some of your expertise, whether it be a LITERARY ANALYSIS OF THEIR BLOG OR DIARY or LEGAL ADVICE REGARDING THEIR NEIGHBOR’S FENCE. If you went to business school, like me, you can give them TWO WEEKS OF HUMAN SCARECROW SERVICES FOR THEIR GARDEN.

As the act of pausing to unwrap something disrupts zen of mindlessly consuming a pile of food in front of the television - allowing the mind to reflect on whether or not there are better choices one could be making - A LARGE NUMBER OF SLIM-JIMS THAT HAVE ALREADY BEEN UNWRAPPED FOR THEM is an ideal gift for someone who watches a lot of TV hint hint.

The next hottest instructor-led group fitness trend is HOLEZTM - a fresh, exciting take on ditch digging led by upbeat, attractive young people with headsets - so get your loved one A LUXURY ELITE HIGH PERFORMANCE PROFESSIONAL FITNESS SHOVEL WITH MOISTURE-WICKING HANDLE.

Will you wind up having to exchange presents with an underaged cousins? Give them A  CHUCK KLOSTERMAN BOOK SOMEONE LEFT AT YOUR HOUSE or ONE OF YOUR SCRATCHED REPLACEMENTS’ CDs. Later, after dinner, make up for this crappy present by taking them aside and giving them A PACK OF CIGARETTES OR ALCOHOL, which is what they actually want.

If you have to do white elephant gifts, the only one I ever give is an album I make of Sarah Palin reading America by Heart over funeral music, like Purcell. Contact me if you want the audiobook files for your own artistic projects.

Nov 30

Who do online advertisers think you are?

(Here you can see what they think you are.)

The borg thinks I am a vegetarian, which is surprising to me. I’ve spent a lot of time looking at guns lately.