Imagine if you were invited to a picnic hosted by these radiated supermen and you had to sit at one of their picnic tables. It would be like sitting in a tree with your legs dangling off and trying to eat off a tray in your lap. Completely terrible.
Werner Herzog talking about chickens.
As of June 30, all of my Nando’s loyalty reward stamps are now worthless. I had accumulated like $60 worth of free chicken. Fuck you, Nando’s. Fuck you straight to hell.
Good business ideas
- a smell truck that I park next to expensive apartments to cover up the normal pee/vomit smell of a “vibrant” neighborhood with the scent of cookies or bread or something
- a new Interpol album that is exactly like the first one (the good one)
Nobody is writing these songs today. Commercial jingles are rare, mostly replaced with licensed songs.
There’s a part of me that would love to live inside this commercial - a world where you are compelled to wave at every single person you see, all your nutrients are delivered via an vitamin enriched orange drink that’s dosed with mood enhancers, and everyone anticipates the personal salvation of buying an all new K-Car.
It seems like a lot of the energy being put into corporate songs are basically wasted on the more internally directed songs, “inside looking out”.
As an industry, accounting has the worst offenders
- Deloitte's vaguely Christian rock sounding anthem
- KPMG, which sounds a little like a Stalinist-style totalitarian state’s national anthem
- Ernst & Young, which sounds like a 1980s sit com theme song
- PWC has two
American car commercials from the 1980s are incredible and beautiful. Many of them seem to share a similar literary style with personal ads or the video dating profile.
So why did we make it even better for 1985?
The completely undeserved bravado and machismo. Can’t you imagine the bratwurst who wrote that?
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